My Children’s Books
CinderToot
A Cinderella Tooting Tale
John’s first children’s book is a re-telling of his children’s favorite bedtime story. It’s the story of Cinderella, with John’s own unique twist. When the clock strikes midnight, Cinderella runs out of the ball. While she’s running down the steps, she loses her slipper. But instead of leaving her slipper, she picks it up and toots — accidentally. Hurriedly, she runs away. All the prince has to identify his true love is the lingering smell… and so the prince embarks on a quest to find the mystery girl, by asking each maiden in the land to pass gas so he can find the smell of his true love. John told this story to his kids over 100 times. Finally, the kids begged John to share the story with you. CinderToot was created during the pandemic, with the incredible help of his wife and four kids.
Learn more about the book at www.CinderToot.com.
SantaToot
The Fart That Saved Christmas
Who knew that a fart could save Christmas?
What’s the best way to guarantee Santa visits your house? Fill the entire living room with cookies, candy, cupcakes, and sweets until the pile reaches the ceiling! Add in mom’s irresistible bean dip and Santa’s night is perfect well, almost perfect. Santa comes down the chimney but hilariously gets stuck going back up. Eventually, though, Santa’s toots clear the path. But will Santa still have time to visit every house? Find out how one girl and some flatulence save Christmas.
Children of CinderToot
The Search for the Odorless Toot
The search for the odorless fart begins here...
After happily ever after, Cinderella, also known as CinderToot, and the prince have two beautiful children, who each also share Ella’s gift for well, flatulence. On Ella’s birthday, the children search the kingdom for the perfect gift for their toot filled mother: a tree whose fruit will make one’s farts odorless. But the journey is filled with danger, a newly discovered family member, and of course, toots. The kids get lost searching but are rescued by a godparent (of course). Will the children find the fruit? Will Ella and the prince find their children? Find out in this fun sequel to the best selling CinderToot: A Cinderella Tooting Tale
Manpunzel
A Hairy Tale
There’s nothing wrong with being hairy . . .
When a great knight climbs up a mysterious tower using what seems like a giant rope, the knight soon realizes that the person at the top of the tower is rather . . . unexpected. This charming twist on the Rapunzel story is sure to make you laugh and bring a smile to your face. With hair everywhere, an evil wizard, and even a few surprises, Manpunzel is a story you’ll never forget. And remember, there’s nothing wrong with being hairy!
A Book Written as a Family
One of John’s main motivations for writing children’s books has nothing to do with the actual books. For years he dreamed of being able to work with his children in a way that would make them proud.
When he was talking with his wife about carving out time to write a children’s book, one of the highlights was involving his four kids in the process. John and his wife decided that he would involve the kids in the writing, illustrating, publishing, and marketing of the book.
His goal was to show his children how to turn an idea into reality — how to execute. John believes that parents shouldn’t ask their kids to be creative and then fail to demonstrate what that means.
Here’s how John incorporated his kids into the creation of CinderToot: A Cinderella Tooting Tale.
John told the story to his kids over 100 times before writing it down.
Before John wrote a draft, he asked my kids what they thought of the idea of writing a book about CinderToot. Of course, they loved it.
John wrote 13 drafts of the book. He read each draft to the kids to get their feedback. They noticed every change, even single words.
The kids helped pick an editor (with John’s supervision, of course).
The kids helped pick an illustrator (along with John’s wife’s approval).
Through every step, John tried to teach his kids about starting a business, profits, expenses, and marketing.
John and his kids picked three local charities together and donate a percentage of the royalties for the purpose of helping similarly-aged kids.
John’s article on why he wrote a children’s book:
Why I Am Writing a Children’s Book (And having more fun writing than ever before)
He asked, "What makes a man a writer?"
"Well," I said, "it's simple. You either get it down on paper, or jump off a bridge.”
Charles Bukowski